Navigating the Holiday Minefields

  • Kamala Murphey Coaching & Mentoring

I’d like to wish you a very happy holiday season!

Before you read any further, though, I’d like to invite you to take just a moment to slow down and breathe. A nice, long, full breath.

You may have dozens of things on your mind or your to-do list, but give yourself the gift of letting it all go for a few moments and being present with your breath.

As we move into the holidays, you’re bound to start getting a little revved up. Who doesn’t? As one of my clients mentioned the other day, even in her loving family it seems like all her triggers get kicked up – starting with the planning for Thanksgiving dinner. Where? Who did it last time? Joan’s house is too small! Oh, geez - someone’s vegan now? Bruce is on the wagon - should we hide the hard liquor?

Expectations can be setups for upsets

Expectations are sneaky – hiding under the cover of your consciousness so most of the time you may not even be aware of them - of what they actually are or how many are part of your "operating system."

And through the holidays especially, not only do you have your own expectations, but you’re dealing with those of others, too! You, your family, your friends, colleagues, co-workers. Store clerks, other shoppers, and society in general! After all, it’s the HOLIDAYS! You’re supposed to be happy!

It’s a minefield! One unmet (usually unspoken) expectation is stepped on and BOOM!

Navigating the minefield

Although you may hit them despite your best efforts, here are some ways to minimize the damage:
1) Take some time to think about your own expectations – are there situations or circumstances that you think should be a certain way? Or that people should behave a particular way? (Be curious any time you use the word SHOULD. It's a warning sign.)

2) Practice even more self-care – even if it’s simple – like the breath I suggested at the beginning of this letter, taking some alone time, taking time for your favorite hobby.

3) Along with more self-care, allow yourself to be aware of your capacity – say no to events or situations you know will drain you.

4) If you’re able to, talk with others about expectations – your own, theirs, even society’s. It isn’t often talked about, but it’s helpful to uncover some of the underlying messages, thoughts, or beliefs you’ve picked up!

I hope some of this helps make your holidays a little more peaceful. Please let me know if you have questions or if you'd like a little more support - I'm happy to schedule a quick call.

Peace to your heart and passion to your purpose,